PANCIT CANTON

PANCIT CANTON

Alright kids, let me tell you a story. There was once, long time ago, when crabs could fly and probably R wasn't allergic to shellfish, in an ancient and mysterious asian island lost between 1000 others,a young girl named Xit Pan. She was super pretty and her smile always cheered everyone, and also liked rice pasta a lot, therefore each morning she was going out in her rice field and she sang to the young plants with her angelic voice. Yes, Pan Xit can tune alright! One day, after her morning ritual, she went for a pina colada and a long walk on the beach when she spotted a young fisherman in his boat near the shore. The boat was half full of provisions as he looked like he was lost at sea.  Xit Pan introduced herself: "Pan Xit!" and pointed towards the boat. The fisherman didn't understand her language though and thought she was referring to his provisions. "Canned tuna!" he said. Anyway, long story short, she took him home and they got married eventually and lived super long lives and she cooked him rice pasta with canned tuna which they called "Pan xit can Tun" but it was disgusting so they used chicken instead. Unfortunately she was vegetarian and he was gluten intolerant.
Editorial Review: some wise girls from Philippines brought to my attention that this is in fact Pancit Bihon. That calls for an update in the story: The fisherman, impressed with Pan Xit's beauty, dropped on one knee and asked her: Would you be my honey? Bi hon? she asked ( cause she didn't understand his language). And they lived happily ever after and she was called PanXit BiHon' from that day further. (Also rice doesn't have gluten apparently. I have no story update for that.)

That being said, you had probably got the idea of what today's dinner will be: Pancit Canton. No worries, I won't use tuna but stick to the basics and play it safe.

What will you need:

-italian bio integral vermicelli rice pasta "Maaama", why doesn't aaaanyone remeber my naaaame! It's a ok greeen Maaaario, it's a not your fault!

-half cabbage and carrots cut julienne , or short version for lazy people: a colorful coleslaw salad mix bag.

- green peas and half bell pepper.

-leaves from a young fresh celery. Or parsley.

-mix of meats or shrimp if you are a young fisherman.

-pepper, spice, and everything nice. And soy sauce if you feel salty.

- tears of a virgin's shattered dreams, or chopped onion and garlic as replacement

Ok, now as you have everything ready, get out your good asian wok and oil it with coconut butter. Toss in the ingredients in backwards order, from bottom to the top at 2 minutes interval and put some water in at some point when you feel it's about to start burning.

Now drop the bag of coleslaw on top and wait. Don't panic, it's supposed to look like a soup at this point.

 While waiting, remember this is a comfort food, you should eat it while sitting comfortably in the comfort of your own home and share with people you are comfortable with. Since my seat is not extremely comfortable and my home is a rental, I'll make it a bit more dis-comfortable by adding in a hand made unreasonably happy quebec chorizo dry sausage and some fishy sauce.

Now I'm really not comfortable, at least smell wise, so it's time to add in the noodles, or as the french quebecois say, SPLAASH!

Mix, wait and serve with some calamansi , which apparently is a small lime which I can't find in Canada and also forgot to replace. But no worries I have a solution, I'll add it virtually to the serving, like so:

Sarap! OO, sarap!

Edit: R says this is super good to eat as a sandwich, I'm not making this stuff up! I tried. It is. Now I can never go back. Also the sausage has cheese. Those quebecuers! Tabarnac!